"Vain am I, and foolish, and embarassed to admit..."
Well, here it is, a new year and a new start, and a new bullet journal to set up with new goals and trackers for 2020.
This year I added a spread that combines the wheel of the year (8 sabbats, or festivals, observed mostly by pagans throughout the year to mark the rhythms of the seasons) and the lunar phases, along with their significance (which had a surprising amount of overlap).
The idea is to use the themes for each period of time as a guide for reflection, journaling, and goal-setting throughout the year, while giving me external prompts to do so on a regular basis instead of just waiting for the inspiration to randomly strike, and also helping mark the passage of time since my ADHD brain doesn't register it normally.
I've been struggling to come up with clear goals for the year beyond the usual vague ideas of getting in the gym more than twice a year to build strength and cardiovascular health, finally setting aside time for personal Bible study and prayer on a regular basis, and actually saving money and not spending frivolously (again), etc. I'm fairly happy with where I am in life currently, but contentment can easily stagnate into complacency.
This past Sunday's message by Pastor Greg was called 20/20 Vision (ha), on Hebrews 12 and running the race of life to win. When he started talking about training for the race with intentionality like a competitive athlete, my brain connected the two concepts of intentional living into one simple idea that felt radical: why not use these mile marker dates to focus on ways to improve my spiritual life? The themes of each period of the year and each lunar phase can give me just the barest structure to build from, so I can plan these study/meditation/reflection sessions ahead of time and have that time set aside so I actually get around to it. As my brain put a nice little bow on this present during the sermon, I set down my church notebook and make a quick adjustment to the next page of my bullet journal: forget drawing a random Tarot card for inspiration for the year and each month; there are far better and more intuitive lessons to be drawn from the Scriptures.
Today while work was dead, I happened to remember that I need to call our insurance company to request a specific referral for my son's ADHD evaluation (the first psychiatrist we saw agreed with my assessment but left much to be desired in his manner and lack of thoroughness, so a second, trusted opinion is needed before we begin any treatment); somewhere between remembering to my chagrin that I'd left the paper with the names I needed in last year's bullet journal on my desk at home, looking forward starting helpful therapies with him soon in order to get us ready to start school, and remembering that I need to set up a day to tour the Christian school I just noticed last week a few minutes from our house, a melody started playing in my head that wouldn't go away (to be fair, I encouraged it): Marty Goetz - Unless It Is the Lord
This year I added a spread that combines the wheel of the year (8 sabbats, or festivals, observed mostly by pagans throughout the year to mark the rhythms of the seasons) and the lunar phases, along with their significance (which had a surprising amount of overlap).
The idea is to use the themes for each period of time as a guide for reflection, journaling, and goal-setting throughout the year, while giving me external prompts to do so on a regular basis instead of just waiting for the inspiration to randomly strike, and also helping mark the passage of time since my ADHD brain doesn't register it normally.
I've been struggling to come up with clear goals for the year beyond the usual vague ideas of getting in the gym more than twice a year to build strength and cardiovascular health, finally setting aside time for personal Bible study and prayer on a regular basis, and actually saving money and not spending frivolously (again), etc. I'm fairly happy with where I am in life currently, but contentment can easily stagnate into complacency.
This past Sunday's message by Pastor Greg was called 20/20 Vision (ha), on Hebrews 12 and running the race of life to win. When he started talking about training for the race with intentionality like a competitive athlete, my brain connected the two concepts of intentional living into one simple idea that felt radical: why not use these mile marker dates to focus on ways to improve my spiritual life? The themes of each period of the year and each lunar phase can give me just the barest structure to build from, so I can plan these study/meditation/reflection sessions ahead of time and have that time set aside so I actually get around to it. As my brain put a nice little bow on this present during the sermon, I set down my church notebook and make a quick adjustment to the next page of my bullet journal: forget drawing a random Tarot card for inspiration for the year and each month; there are far better and more intuitive lessons to be drawn from the Scriptures.
Today while work was dead, I happened to remember that I need to call our insurance company to request a specific referral for my son's ADHD evaluation (the first psychiatrist we saw agreed with my assessment but left much to be desired in his manner and lack of thoroughness, so a second, trusted opinion is needed before we begin any treatment); somewhere between remembering to my chagrin that I'd left the paper with the names I needed in last year's bullet journal on my desk at home, looking forward starting helpful therapies with him soon in order to get us ready to start school, and remembering that I need to set up a day to tour the Christian school I just noticed last week a few minutes from our house, a melody started playing in my head that wouldn't go away (to be fair, I encouraged it): Marty Goetz - Unless It Is the Lord
Unless It Is The Lord(Psalm 127)Words & Music by Marty Goetz© 1999 Singin’ in the Reign Music/ASCAPChorus:Unless it is the L-rd who builds the houseThey labor in vain who build itUnless it is the L-rd who guards the cityThe watchmen watch in vainVain are we to rise up early and to stay up lateTo toil and labor greatly for our daily breadVain are we to worry that our souls He will not keepHe gives His loved ones sleepFor He Himself has said(Chorus)Foolishly we try to build our houses on the sandThey cannot withstand the storms we must endureWise are we when we’ve been found to build on solid groundThough rain & wind may poundWe’ll still stand secure(Instrumental)Vain am I and foolish and embarrassed to admitI’ve often almost quit, yet on and on I goAnd though I’m slow of stepAnd though my heart is filled with fearsStill after all these yearsThis one thing I know
(Chorus)
The watchmen watch in vainUnless it is the L-rd, Unless it is the L-rd
So now I have theme verses/lyrics for 2020 and for the month of January, and clearly, an inkling to possibly begin blogging again (it seemed like the most efficient way to organize my thoughts as they rolled in, while also being able to share them). Which reminds me, I have this album on CD at home, and I really need to find digital copies to put on my phone... 🤔
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